It’s been a while since I last wrote. There’s 101 reasons why I’ve not written and 101 reasons more why I should have written but mostly, it has just been laziness. This site crashed and I didn’t want to even look at it or think about the blogs I had lost. I started a new project solely dedicated to my love of hockey. My iTunes crashed and I lost 11,000 plus songs. I actually cried over that one, and I brought home Nick, my mom’s Yorkie. He’s been a handful but an absolute joy to have around. I feel less insane when I’m talking character scenes out. Not that I’ve been writing a lot. Again, laziness and the fact that I cannot sit at a computer and force myself to write like I have before. I haven’t written anything since January. Yes, there has been a few starts, but my commitment to writing and finishing it has not been there.
But I miss it. I miss writing a lot. I have to find that spark and that drive that made me write before. I could blame it on the death of my mom, I could blame it on the crazy busy schedule at the big girl job, but it’s neither of those. Nothing creative dances in my head like it use to before. I use to go to sleep with character scenes or characters developing in my mind. There is nothing now. Even my past characters seem dull and faded like an old black & white photo.
So as my crazy big girl job (aka the day job) slows down the first week in October and before the insanity of hockey season starts, I hope to meditate, stare into the night, let the sun shine on my face, and so on and find that spark, that joy, that love, that desire to write.
I need to find it. I’m quite lonely without it.