Closer to the Edge

Apologies

Here’s my only apology to the world: “I’m sorry I’m not sorry.”

Yesterday was a day that I will mark in my life as one of the greatest days in my life. Why so great? It was unexpected. What was so unexpected? It was a fucking awesome day/night. The ones you see in a movie and go, that never happens in real life, but things like that do happen in real life and hilarity will ensue.

At work, we had the band Skybombers come in and do an acoustic set for us. It RAWKED. I got to see a new band and I dug their music. It was Scott’s birthday so I passed to them a bottle of Jack Daniel. (I wasn’t going to ever drink it.)  The boss let me bolt out an hour & half early so I could see Jimmy Buffett. SCORE! Emily Beth & I loaded up the car and tailgated from the parking lot. It was her 1st Buffett show and I don’t know what number for me. It was the best Buffett show ever! He played some of my favorites and some I have never heard live. I was in Buffett heaven. For two plus hours, I was in the islands with 18,000 of my closest friends. After the show, I stopped into the Gin Mill to have a birthday drink with one of my besties, Suzanne. I also found Scott & the rest of the guys from Skybombers there so birthday shots were ordered for everyone. <insert song “Closing Time”> I let the band crash at my apartment. No one was in the shape to drive and they didn’t have a hotel. I have enough floor space, blankets, and such. Besides, it’s in my nature to make sure people are okay. I slept for about two hours, got up showered, and went to work. I was sleep deprived and then the shots hangover kicked in. My boss sent me home. The first time ever I was sent home from work. At first I tried to argue with him that I was fine and could get through the work day but I’m glad he sent me home. My eyes and body wanted to betray me and I wanted to sleep and sleep hard. After taking a 4.5 hour nap, I finally picked myself up, still discombobulated, and took another bestie Easter goodies for her sons. I had a bloody mary, two shots, and another mixed drink. As I sat watching the Sabres/Flyers game, I started to tweet something about going back at living the life and partying again, but I stopped myself with the thought that someone might think this or that. Then I got pissed at myself for thinking that. I called it an early night because I am driving to Atlanta to see The Kills and went home. While walking my dog, I had an epiphany…

I AM NOT SORRY FOR LIVING MY LIFE TO THE FULLEST.  I AM NOT SORRY FOR TRYING TO SQUEEZE LAUGHTER, LOVE, HAPPINESS, & GOOD TIMES INTO EVERY SECOND I HAVE ON THIS EARTH.  I AM NOT SORRY FOR PARTYING HARD. I AM NOT SORRY FOR LOVING EVERY MOMENT OF EVERY DAY.  I AM NOT SORRY FOR BEING ME.  I AM NOT SORRY I AM HAVING FUN.

I remembered the blog entry I wrote “My Life Choices Are Mine” and I reflected on how great yesterday and last night were. The only thing I regretted about yesterday…parking my car in a different lot and having to walk in the pouring rain this morning.