Songs of My Life

Songs of My Life: August 2017

When I originally sat down to reflect on the songs of August, I thought the theme was BREATHE as it appears in several lyrics and try as I might to stay level headed and together and positive and all that wonderful jazz, I do sometimes forget to just breathe. But on second glance, the theme was not BREATHE, the theme was NOT ENOUGH. For me, the first half of August’s playlist definitely had a certain theme/tone compared toward the end of the month. I think the first half is where I just held on and held things in. The second half is where I learned that it’s okay to be not enough and just let go.

Listen/watch on Youtube HERE or below.
Spotify* users HERE (*not all songs on Spotify)

“Someone to You” by Banners
This song arrived to my ears via Amy. She gets me musically and knows when I need to hear the lyrics and that’s what she did with this song. It’s all the lyrics, so just listen to the song. (Thank you Amy!)

“March of the Pigs” by Eighteen Visions (NIN Cover)
Dude!!! This cover is off the hook. I wrote about it’s greatness HERE. It’s just face melting and the perfect fuck everyone in the world song!

“Surefire” by Econoline Crush
Have I mentioned how much I adore this band? Yes, that is a rhetorical question because I know I have. Anyway, not one hundred percent sure why I dragged this song into the list, but it’s a rocker from THE DEVIL YOU KNOW album and I am digging it. I think perhaps it was these lyrics: “Never enough. Take it all away.”

“Made a Mistake” by Sugarcult
Another band I adore. Another band I am bummed that doesn’t make music. Since I put together The Music History of Shelia, I’ve been on a “retro” kick and have been listening to bands like Sugarcult a lot. I forgot how great their album LIGHTS OUT is. You can tell they matured on this album compared to START STATIC. Anyway, these lyrics are why I connected to this song this month: “….Crushed. Painful as it sounds…I can hardly stand that you aren’t mine. I can hardly stand this. Try to understand it. I gave you all I had…Made a mistake. You should’ve left me, should’ve left me dead…I could never, trust another…”

“Push” by Donavon Frankenreiter
These lyrics, that is all: “I’m so glad I had to let go…You may be afraid to love again, Was a fool with my heart, I kept holding your hand, I kept playing the part, Just like the things that you fake, I was trying so hard. You’re sitting on the edge, and you pushed to far….”

“Breathe You In” by Papa Roach
I don’t remember dragging this song into list but I am glad I did. These lyrics: “I feel a fire burning underneath my skin. Now that I breathe in. I breathe you in. I feel a freedom from this hopelessness within…”

“New Killer Star” by David Bowie
There’s just a groove to this song that makes me happy.

“Barbados” by Models
Thanks to Nick for letting me borrow James Freud’s autobiography, I AM THE VOICE LEFT FROM DRINKING! This song was a feature in my music this month. I really love the title of the book and it is a lyric in the song too. This song, like Bowie, just has a feel good groove.

“Periscope” by Papa Roach featuring Skylar Grey
So, I am kind of obsessed with this song. It came on one day at work and I recognized Jacoby’s voice immediately but the song didn’t sound like Papa Roach, but I have fallen in love with this song. From their latest album CROOKED TEETH, Jacoby says in a Loudwire interview: “‘Periscope is inspired by the realization that sometimes within a relationship you might not be worth being loved or that the other person may not be worth your love, and the struggle within that— how much effort it takes to make things work.” These lyrics hit me in the heart and soul this month: “…no matter what I say. It’s only going to steal your breath and slip away … You wear your heart so fearless, it’s like it doesn’t beat. You push away my demons when they torture me … I don’t want to dive in first. You don’t want to hear these words. It’s only going to make it worse. You don’t want to live that curse. You’re telling me to keep my hope. Because you’ve got a heart of gold. But maybe you should let me go. I’ll love you through a periscope…”

“Stay Away” by The Honorary Title
Still love Jarrod’s voice and this song. It spun into my world one Friday night and knocked me to my knees. No particular lyric, just the song. The feels.

“Pollyanna” by Sponge
From their NEW POP SUNDAY album, the Universe gifted me this little gem on a Saturday afternoon. Damn does it hit the heart. I’ve been reading a lot of books with addicts in it (the above and and Burroughs) and this song just echoed the addictions and how sometimes we try to help without hope. “Here I am again. Left for dead again. Oh how sweet. Come back any day. Anytime is okay to see me. What’s left of me. What you don’t know is I keep your vision around me. Your addiction surrounds me. It lets you know the power you have over me…”

“If This is It” by Our Lady Peace
Late Saturday night feels with this one. I was in middle of editing Coffee and Conversations and this song stopped me in my tracks. These lyrics: “I could be your greatest accident. I could be the blood on your fingertips. Nothing’s wrong. Nothing to regret. Just want to breathe you in. If this is it. I could be your greatest confidant. And I could be the head laying on your breast. Just want to breathe you in. The light, the love, the hope is near.  The weight we’re under disappears. If this is it. I could be your greatest accident…”

“Not Enough” by Our Lady Peace
Was gifted this one morning via shuffle and I played the song on repeat for 30 minutes straight. I think the title says it all: not enough. Sometimes what you give is never enough.

“Lifeline” by Papa Roach
These lyrics: “You know a heart of gold won’t take you all the way and in a world so cold it’s hard to keep the faith. I’m never gonna fade away…I’ve been looking for a lifeline. For what seems like a lifetime, I’m drowning in the pain.  Breaking down again. Looking for a lifeline.”

“Drop Me in the Water” by Our Lady Peace
New Our Lady Peace in my life! Seriously, August has been a fantastic music month! This is their first track from their new album SOMETHINGNESS (album came out on August 25th) and boy is it good. Signature OLP. I love that the lyrics can easily describe my mental battle against myself. These lyrics: “I sleep to dream away time.  My body doesn’t feel like mine. I got to get away, got to get away from myself. I’m dancing in this devils waltz. I’m dirty and I need your help…”

“Say Yes to Life” by Gang of Youths
This song comes courtesy of Krissie. She tweeted me the below and of course I listened and I love it! I love when my friends send music my way and say this reminds me of you. It’s a sign to me that I’m doing something right and when the songs are about saying yes to life and not fearing it, then that means even more.

These lyrics: “And I won’t leave you hanging in the wind. So let me love with a vengeance. My sad sweet and unfinished friend…It’s ok not to be so alright but don’t be alone…Say what you want with blood and bone…Say yes to sun! Say yes to pain…Say yes to grace! Say no to spite! Say yes to this! Say yes to you! Say yes to me! Say yes to love! Say yes to life!”

“I’ll Make You Happy” by Divinyls
It’s the Divinyls. Period. That is all. If you are not dancing around your room singing into a brush and in front of a mirror, check your pulse. Yes, I still do that as a grown ass adult…well, maybe not grown ass…but as a pseudo adult.

“Pet Sematery” by Rammstein (Ramones Cover)
This song comes courtesy of t-shirt worn by a bartender. He was wearing a Ramones tee. As a music fan, I always like to randomly spot check people wearing band tees. You can’t sport a band tee you bought at some fashion store and not know any of the music. It’s music sacrilege. And yes, I will judge you on your lack of music knowledge if you are sporting a band tee and don’t know anything about them. It would be like me wearing a One Direction tee and not knowing anything about the band. I don’t have a One Direction tee because I would rather eat glass and I couldn’t pick any of them out of a line up. Anyway, bartender passed the test. Told him this cover was the best cover. And if you know me, duh, any time I bring up Rammstein, I will.

“Excuse Me While I Break My Own Heart Tonight” by Whiskeytown
This came up on a Sunday shuffle session and it just fit the cold and gray clouded winter day. All that was missing was the whiskey and the tears. In reality, the song is true. We break our own hearts by ignoring the obvious, the red flags, etc. I broke my own heart. I acknowledge it and I am moving the fuck along.

“Something So Strong” by Crowded House
Another gift courtesy of the Sunday shuffle session. Neil & company just nailed what love is from both ends of the spectrum…“Love can make you make weep. Can make you run for cover…Love can leave you cold…”

“Demolition Band” by The Cadillac Three
I’ve been a fan of TC3 since they were American Bang and damn this song is infectious. The video for this song is cute and if you played Nintendo you’ll appreciate it and song wise, this song is just catchy. The boys in this band know how to write a song that sticks to you like salt air on a summer day. Just turn the song up to 11 and dance around your living room. On the connection side, these lyrics: “I drank just enough tonight to break down these walls. I’m coming in swinging girl like a wrecking ball. Yeah this heavy heart is pounding like a hammer in my hand. Aw come on baby let me be your demolition man…” Every girl (or boy) who’s been broken and built walls understands this.

“Never Gonna Give You Up” Foo Fighters & Rick Astley (live)
Hello music Gods thank you for making this happen. It’s the best thing out there! I love this version and it needs to be recorded immediately!

“In the Morning” by Jaded
This song comes from my gay hubby, Ronnie. The message just read, “This may be our new theme song…” Boy…Ronnie knows me, us, well. This is our new theme song. I love and miss you Ronnie!!! And these lyrics: “Ain’t looking for a ring cuz I got what I want. Ain’t looking for ring cuz I got what I need…you know what I’m like, if I don’t get to eat in the morning…”

“I’ve Been Loving You Too Long” by Otis Redding
David Lynch knows how to place music in his art. This song brought tears of happiness and just fit so perfectly in episode 15. Besides, it’s Otis fucking Redding people! If you don’t get the feels from listening to Otis, check your pulse! I mean come on, with lyrics like this…“I’ve been loving you a little too long I don’t want to stop now…”

“Axolotl” by The Veils
Props to David Lynch again. What a mind numbing, infectious, soul shaking song. I didn’t Google anything about The Veils so I can’t tell you anything about them other than this song made me buy the EP and I wasn’t disappointed. I already like the song just by the title. (Google axolotl, you won’t be disappointed. I want 47 of these now!). Video is just as strange as any scene in Twin Peaks.

“Do I Wanna Know” by Arctic Monkeys
Saturday afternoon setting sun and this song plays and these lyrics hit me: “Maybe I’m too busy being yours to fall for somebody new. Now I’ve thought it through…”

“Lazarus” by David Bowie
This reasoning or meaning of my latest tattoo is two-fold. I love astronomy and Bowie’s latest album was called BLACKSTAR. This tattoo not only satisfied my love for the stars but my admiration of Bowie and includes these lyrics: “I’ve got scars that can’t be seen…”