Songs of My Life

Songs of My Life: November 2017

Fuck, November was hard to get through. The On Coming Storm (depression) showed up unannounced and rained (literally and figuratively) on my mother fucking parade for most of the month. There were a lot of lows this month and the few highs couldn’t pull me out the funk. As the month is ending, I am finally starting to feel the storm pass. My family and friends back home will never know how much their texts, messages, and tags helped me through this month. When I felt like the darkness was too much, I would be receive a text/message or get tagged in social media. It was as if we were spiritually connected and they were saying to me, “it’s gonna be okay”. And it will be okay and so will I.

Listen/watch on Youtube HERE or below.
Spotify* users HERE (*not all songs on Spotify)

“Unfair Weather Friend” by Willie Nelson and Waylon Jennings
On a gray cloudy day, this song just comforted me in the current state of emotions I was in. We always have that one friend who is the person in this song and if you don’t have one, you always hope to have one. I’m lucky to have and am grateful I have a few unfair weather friends. I am missing them so much this month. These people are my tribe, my pack, and it is a sad and lonely existence here in Australia without them. They include me in everything they do from home and I love them for that. I’d include them all in what I do here, but it’d just be me sleeping or sitting at the bar drinking and wishing they were beside me instead of an empty barstool. My co-worker said to me, “I have never met any of them but you have good friends.” Good friends is an understatement. I have the best friends in the world. Nothing can touch the beautiful bond we have created in this sometimes ugly world. I love them for it. This song is for them. “…Sometimes this whole world is my worst enemy and I know where to run when it gets to me. No one else but you can make it all make sense. My come whatever unfair weather friend…”

“Beat the Devil’s Tattoo” by Black Rebel Motorcycle Club
One of my favorite songs by BMRC. I feel they have 3 sides when it comes to their music:
– catchy groovy rock
– take me to church and give me religion tunes
– whoa-is-me-I’m-a-depressed-heroin-addict
This falls into take me to church and give me religion. When listening to this song, I felt my soul fall quiet. “…Open up your eyelids, let your demons run. I thread the needle through, you beat the devil’s tattoo…”

“On My Way Up” by The Constellations
This song was and is a reminder that I get to live another day.
I have a great deal of respect for this band as they have given me great memories with “My Pack” (road trips, crashing at my apartment, hockey games, Whynatte lattes shots, sing-a-longs at venues and more). The video on YouTube is from their first performance at the 1065 studios. I was stoked to make the performance happen and it remains one of my favorite studio performances.

“Buddy” by Willie Nelson
This song comes courtesy of PARKS & RECREATION, Season 7, Episode 4. If you haven’t seen the season or episode, I won’t spoil it but a friendship like Leslie and Ron’s is one we can all hope for. 2 different people who at the end of the day truly care for the other. This song is another dedication to My Pack. (I told you they were missed a lot this month.)

“It Only Hurts” by Default
Rainy Friday night and this song resonated with my soul. This song has always done that. For me it expresses how I feel when depression attacks. This time though, it was just a small gentle note for me to realize these lyrics: “…Once again I’m settling for second best…It only hurts when you’re eyes are open. Lies get tossed and truth is spoken. It only hurts when that door gets opened. Dreams are lost and hearts are broken…”

“Vacation” by Dirty Heads
This month’s feel good song and an ode to Suzanne because when I first heard it, I knew she’d love it. The entire song would be something we’d say to each other: “If you don’t like your life, then you should go and change it.”

“Memphis City Rain” by Angie Aparo
Rainy weekend and another song whose lyrics resonate with my soul: “I am a song, I been here along…and if you come with me and if you let it be and sing my melody. Then it don’t have to wash away in a Memphis city rain…”

“Everyone’s Fightin’ the Same Damn Fight” by The Lovemakers
Title says it all.

“Suffocate” by Cold

Sometimes you just need to hear a “fuck off/fuck you” song to remind you it’s okay to kick people out of your life who make you feel like you are nothing to them.

“Need You” by Aeora
I was asked to review this song and I am so glad I was asked. As I said in my review, I needed to hear this song this month. It has been my life saver. I am even happier Aeora liked what I wrote about her music. That means the world to me. If you only listen to one song, please listen below or in the Spotify list. It truly is a wonderful song.

“My Own Mystery” by LANKS featuring Ngaiire
Sliding into the end of the month is one of my favorite Aussie artists, LANKS. I really needed a musical high note to end the month on and this song is just the hope I needed. LANKS always writes infectious and catchy tunes and this does not disappointment. Listen and fall in love with love again.